Weight Loss: Gym Day 1

I was given my gym programme yesterday and there was quite a lot in it so I split it into 2 so that I would do cardio and resistance one day and then cardio and strength/core the next. So today was a cardio and resistance day, but I still couldn’t fit all the exercises into my gym session. I’m going during my lunch break which is only an hour and I have to factor in getting dressed at the start and then showered and dressed at the end. So it looks like I might have to split the whole lot into 3 different sessions.

I also had trouble on the machine which is for seated crunches. I did try it out yesterday and it felt ok, but today I just couldn’t get comfortable and it just didn’t feel right, it felt too hard. I know it’s supposed to be hard but I honestly felt there was something wrong with my form so I stopped after about 5 or 6 as I didn’t want to risk it.

All in all I enjoyed the variety which was good and I’m keen to get a new plan of action going for tomorrow, or perhaps Friday. I’m not sure how often I should be having full rest days, or whether I can sort the programme to be working different groups for 5 days and then rest at the weekend.

Weight Loss: Fitbit & Gym Induction

My Fitbit Charge HR arrived early this morning which meant I had time to charge the battery and get it set up well in time for my gym induction, which I’m just back from.

I really like the variety of machines I had a go on, especially the rowing machine, and I will get my gym programme in an email this afternoon. Really looking forward to getting started. The best bit about it is that there was NO treadmill work. I have been really worried about getting on the treadmill. My pelvic floor hasn’t recovered and so when I tried jumping jacks or running it’s just pee everywhere. For the life of my I can’t get those pelvic exercises right. They say not to tense your abs or your butt and at the time I don’t think I am but then I get sore abs and butt so I must be. I just can’t seem to isolate properly. Hopefully doing this gym programme will help.

Anyway super excited to get started tomorrow 🙂

Weight Loss: Fitbit Charge HR Arriving Tomorrow

Well Amazon dropped the price of the FitBit Charge HR to the lowest price it’s ever been before (I use camelcamelcamel.com to track the prices of things that i want to buy). Add to that a little promo that they are taking £10 off every order that is £50 or more so I got it for even less!

It’s arriving tomorrow so I’m pretty excited as I also have my gym induction booked for 2pm tomorrow. Whether I’ll have my Charge HR all set up by then I don’t know, I probably need to charge it up for a few hours beforehand.

A bit nervous about the gym induction. I am looking forward to the strength training but I worry about the cardio. A bit TMI but my pelvic floor simply hasn’t recovered and so if I run or jump I leak pee. It has been a while since I did test so maybe it’s better now but I’m not convinced.

Mum Stuff: Cold Turkey

Today is day two of going cold turkey on the dummy. Nap and night times are tricky, he knows he wants it which just reassures me that this is the right time, before he gets even more attached than he is now. He has his first tooth coming in and while I know you can get orthodontic dummies I’d really just rather his teeth didn’t have anything to fight against. My teeth are a mess from sucking on my fingers and had it been a habit I was able to break earlier I would be more confident in my open mouthed smiles.

I also know that I can outlast the whining, he will fall asleep before too long and I won’t give in. He has just fallen asleep with much less fuss than last night and despite the trauma last night he did sleep right through anyway. I think another couple of days and he will have forgotten all about it.

Weight Loss: Should I Get A FitBit?

I’m really tempted to go for the FitBit Charge HR. I currently have the Jawbone UP24 and I do love it, it does give me that bit of motivation and I do feel a bit lost when I forget to wear it. The Up24 is pretty basic which has been good for me so far but I think I’m ready to step things up a notch.

Due to a bit of fraud on my account my bank card was cancelled and I’m waiting on a new one coming in, typically this happened on pay day of all days. I had planned to sign up for the gym here at work on payday, but it now has to wait until I get my card. So with going to the gym ideally 3 or maybe 4 lunchtimes of the week I was wondering if upgrading to the FitBit Charge HR would benefit me more since I will be more active and taking things a bit more seriously. I worry that I don’t really push myself at the gym and perhaps knowing how my heart rate is during workouts will help me see just now much I’m falling short.

I’ve been using the FitBit app, which uses my step data from Healthkit along with my Jawbone app. The fitbit app usually falls short on the step count since I don’t take my phone absolutely everywhere, like to the bathroom, whereas my Up24 does because it’s on my wrist. The app seems good so far and takes my food data from MyFitnessPal.

My weight loss has stalled already and I only managed to lose about 5lb so I really do need to kick things into gear. Hopefully the bank card will arrive tomorrow and I can get a fresh start on Monday.

General: A Time For Change

I need to make some major changes in my life, but I have no idea what those changes need to be or how to go about finding out.

I have a vague idea of things I want to do, but whether or not that are the big changes needed I simply don’t know.

I want to make time for crochet, to stop starting projects and never finishing them.
I’d love to get back into baking, I used to love baking, not so great for the waistline though.
I need more positivity in my life. I need more brightness, both mentally and physically. I think I will change the theme for this blog, all the black needs to go. Perhaps starting some sort of gratitude board or something.
I need to exercise more, not so much to lose weight, though that would be an added bonus, but to release those good chemicals in the body.

General: Tip of the Iceberg

I don’t have much time to think these days, no real quiet time. However I am aware that I am not well, that darkness is closing back in on me again.

I used to bake, crochet and cross stitch. I did these things because they made me happy, they brought me pleasure and I felt proud of the things I had made.

Today I am a wife, and a mum and a PA. I now do things for other people. I do very little for myself anymore and as a result I’m not as happy as I once was. I must assure you that I love my husband very very much, he is my rock. I love my son. I mentioned above that I was proud of the things I baked, crocheted and cross stitched, but those levels of pride pale in comparison to the pride I have for my husband and our son. He is truly my greatest creation.
I am also a PA, which is completely about doing things for someone else, or in my case four people. I am PA to four people, so if you include my husband and my son, six people. Six people, none of which are me.

I feel selfish anytime I even think about doing something for me when it would mean neglecting my duties elsewhere. These people need me, more than I need to need myself. I’m not even sure that makes sense.

Yes I play World of Warcraft, but I do this to escape this real world, to escape all these duties, to forget. I wouldn’t say that it makes me necessarily happy, but it makes me forget the “not as happy” for a little while.

I hate all the negativity in my life, and I completely understand where it comes from. It comes from me.

Weight Loss: What to do about chocolate?

So I’ve been not too bad about cutting out the fizzy drinks. I still have the odd one but I find I don’t really enjoy it as much as I build it up in my head.
Chocolate on the other hand is a real problem. I am unable to portion control my chocolate intake so the best thing to do would be go cold turkey, but then I end up on a complete binge of 1000-1500 calories of chocolate in the space of 20 mins.

So how do I deal with this? I’m not even sure how to start. I don’t really want to cut chocolate out, because I do love it, I enjoy it when I eat it. Clearly I enjoy it a little too much, but if I am unable to control myself when around it the sensible thing would be to remove it all together right? But that doesn’t work either. Unless I stop carrying money with me, I suppose that’s a good way, but then I don’t want to develop some weird unhealthy relationship with when I have money it means I can buy chocolate. ARGH!

Mum Stuff: Separation Anxiety, but it’s me not him!

I have been back working full time since Jack was 4 months old. Of course I didn’t want to go back full time but I can’t afford not to. It’s been fine, he’s being looked after by my in-laws. He loves it up there and they love having him. It’s all been fine.

But these past couple of weeks I’ve not been so fine. Most morning I’m starting to feel sick at the thought of leaving him, during the day i get waves of anxiety because I miss him so much. Jack will be 8 months old next week. I’ve been doing this for 4 months with no issues so I have no idea why it’s all coming up now. I’m not worried about anything relating to his care, I know he is well looked after and is perfectly safe, but I’m really struggling to keep calm when leaving him now.

Week 4 Weight In

Yay lost a whole 1lb WOO down to 163.4lbs this week. I do plan to start the gym early next month now I think I generally have diet in control (when I don’t have binge days).