Mum Stuff: How do you make mummy friends?

Read this first and then come back to me.

Yup this is exactly what happened to me. I went to a baby group and no one said hi at all, I was new and nervous, still not confident in my mum skills and my self-esteem was low so I didn’t have the courage to go say hi to them instead. I never went again. The breastfeeding group was a bit more friendly but I still never made any friends. I have no contact details for anyone I met there, now I’m back at work I feel like I’ve really missed out on making “mummy” friends and I worry that this will affect Jack as he is never around other babies, I worry how he will react when he goes to school and meets other children his age for the first time.
Along with all this, and I honestly mean no disrespect to any of my friends, I’ve seen some of my friends only a handful of times since having Jack, some I haven’t seen or heard from at all. Perhaps they think I’m too busy to join in whatever they are doing, and yeh they are maybe right, but it would still be nice to be asked once in a while even if my answer would still be no. I feel forgotten and alone in that respect. Of course I haven’t reached out to them either, partly because I think they aren’t interested in me anymore, but also partly because yeh I have a kid now and it does take up a lot of our time. It’s a two way street and I am just as much at fault.

I’m not pointing fingers, I don’t hold any resentment, I just thought that it was about time to say whats been on my mind for almost 7 months. Yes I get a bit upset about it at times, then I can go for days or weeks and not even think about it, but it’s always there.
I’ve never been good at making friends, not at school, at uni, or life after in the working world. Don’t get me wrong, there are a lot of people I get on well with in work, I can have a laugh etc with, but none of them I would ever meet outside of work. Part of that is because I live a good 45 min train journey away and in the evenings it’s a nightmare to get home as the trains are less frequent. Also for months our trains have been off at the weekends due to maintenance work so getting places at the weekend isn’t really straightforward.

There are no groups at the weekends. There is an adult and baby swim group at Lanark but it’s pretty expensive and not something I can really financially commit to.

I am very lucky that Chris’s family are literally all around us, we see them every day and they are the best people in the world. I love them all to bits, but it would be kinda nice to have a friend who is mine, not ours and not family, someone from the outside.

I guess since I can’t really commit myself time-wise to this I’m not really going to get any further forward.


One thought on “Mum Stuff: How do you make mummy friends?

  1. I bet you have tons of friends and even some people you don’t consider a friend that always watch out for you in the background, long forgotten.

    Its more difficult when you get kids and typically people disappear for the first few months and wise people accept that. Anyway- you shouldn’t fret, you’re an awesome person and adored. Why don’t you give a few of your friends a call, i bet you can’t remember the last time you just called their number and sat and blethered on the sofa.

    Chin up girl

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