Not Today

Today is not a good day. I feel like shit, not physically, but mentally. I really wasn’t ready to go back to work this morning and I’m really not in the mood to be around people today.

I know that when I stepped on the scales this morning I was the same weight as I was on Friday morning which is a good thing. It means that my weekend didn’t do too much damage, however today I’m not ready to go back to the good eating.

I have a can of coke (139kcal) and a very large bar of aero chocolate (546kcal) in front of me. I know that eating these things will not make me feel better. I know that in fact eating these things will very likely make me feel worse and despite knowing that I am really struggling to find a reason not to do it. Likely in the next 10 minutes the chocolate will be gone and the can half drunk. I actively want this binge. The food isn’t healthy and neither is my state of mind.

I’m still going to log everything on MyFitnessPal. I think it’s important to acknowledge what i’m doing rather than pretend it didn’t happen. Besides all that I need to find a way out of this funk.